Why do we seek change? In the search for happiness
The mind needs constant change. As a result, there is a continual turnover of experiences. It is not a place of rest or acceptance of the status quo. Once we identify with the mind as the agent of happiness, we automatically buy into its lifestyle of change, which is dynamic and can be instantaneous. Before we transfer a cup of coffee from the right hand to the left, we may change our mind about something. It can be hard to keep up with that pace of change.
The mind needs constant change.
The mind introduces us to the concept of boredom. When we are bored, it is natural to want change, which the mind can provide. Even if our physical surroundings are not different from day to day, our imagination and interpretation of the drama of life that plays out involve change.
Change implies comparison. For comparison to exist, there must be something in our memory which we can recall. Seeking change through comparison is a convoluted path to happiness. It comes at a steep cost — we lose the ability of spontaneous enjoyment, which comes naturally to little children.
Seeking change through comparison is a convoluted path to happiness.
Take a two-year-old, for example, listening to a song over and over again. Each time the song plays, the child’s excitement will be as it was the first time it was played. An adult sitting through this exercise will have a completely different experience. Soon, the song may seem repetitive, and listening becomes tedious for the adult.
It should not take a two-year-old to teach us spontaneous enjoyment of life. But they can, and they do, if we care to observe them. In the first few years of life, a child does not complain of boredom. It comes later when the child is conditioned to the ideas of change, apathy, and happiness as an object to be attained.
We don’t need a prompt from the mind through thought to enjoy a beautiful sunset. It just happens. We don’t need to think, “How do I enjoy this sunset?” That seems like a silly question. There is spontaneous enjoyment, and in that spontaneity, the mind disappears.
We may later recall that experience as a thought. It may then make us crave another such experience. With such a desire in the background, the enjoyment of a similar experience may not be as spontaneous as the first time. We compare and contrast with whatever lies in our memory. In that comparison, the beauty of the moment is lost on us.
However, when it comes to other things, such as buying a car, there is no such spontaneous enjoyment. We postpone joy for later. First, we think about the cost, the color of the car, its various features, durability, reliability, etc. There is also a comparison we make amongst the available vehicles. We put in a lot of time and effort in the hopes of enjoying the purchase for a long time. The enjoyment that comes later after much thought and deliberation on our part is conditioned enjoyment.
It peaks the moment we are handed the keys, and then it subsides over time. If the car gets damaged in the parking lot as we drive it for the first time, frustration and disappointment replace enjoyment. Our mind then takes us to another object of desire. Soon we forget the enjoyment related to the purchase of the car and something else takes its place.
The pattern plays out throughout our lives. The objects may change, but the playbook of the mind is the same. When we understand this mechanism of the mind, we can boldly take the step of not linking change that the mind projects with objects and happiness.
Conditioned enjoyment needs continual change
For the mind, happiness must have a reason and an external source. We know that happiness can exist without cause and an external source. Little children exemplify this. Their joy is lasting, infectious, and continually bubbles up. Being identified with the mind, we follow its direction, and we look for a reason and an external source for happiness. More significant the basis for joy and the harder it is to source, the more valuable a commodity happiness becomes.
For the mind, happiness must have a reason and an external source.
We are continually chasing things of perceived higher value in the hopes of going up the value chain of happiness. Physical objects we crave are an extension of our thoughts. We cannot hold onto thoughts, but we can possess objects. They are constant reminders of happiness. Hence we cling onto them.
We cannot hold onto thoughts, but we can possess objects. They are constant reminders of happiness.
Based on the value we assign to an object, we spend the corresponding time and monetary resources towards acquiring that object. Hundreds of objects of various types pass through our hands over a year. Some we seek, others come incidentally. The mind assigns intrinsic value to each object based on prior comparison and a running list of our desires.
We are complicit in this enterprise that change predicates happiness, which the mind propagates. How far we go along the path to happiness that the mind carves, comes down to two factors.
These are contentment and satisfaction. These are qualities that are independent of the external world. Whatever our external circumstances, we are free to enjoy the lightness of being that goes along with contentment and satisfaction.
Whatever our external circumstances, we are free to enjoy the lightness of being that goes along with contentment and satisfaction.
When we are not content and satisfied, we begin to look ahead, comparing the present to a future that we think would be better. The mind can easily project any future we desire. When such projections become appealing, we create a target and the need to achieve that target.
We impose conditions upon ourselves that, upon reaching our goal, we will be happy. This is an avoidable trap if we stop creating future milestones and equating them to happiness. For example, when we are living in a small house, the mind projects the joys of living in a larger home. Similarly, we may have a perfectly functional basic car. But the mind may suggest an exotic car to enhance our pleasure and so on.
Each milestone we tick off, there is a sense of achievement and pleasure. The feeling associated with pleasure is addictive, and we begin to crave more.
The modern way of life does not promote the concept of satisfaction with what we currently have. The wheels of free enterprise would come to a grinding halt if people were satisfied and content with the basics of living. The mind is continuously fed new ideas through creative advertising. Such advertisements imply that happiness lies in acquiring objects.
The modern way of life does not promote the concept of satisfaction with what we currently have.
‘Helpful images’ offer an easy comparison to our life and what aspiration can bring. Of course, there is an object in between, which we would need to buy to fulfill that aspiration. In earlier times, we would need to drive past a billboard or see it on television. Nowadays, it is literally in our face through our smartphones.
There is a fine line between innovation that enriches and improves our lives and change that is for the sake of a profit. A lot of our possessions probably fall into the latter category. For instance, there is little or no need to upgrade a smartphone every time a new model comes to the market. Nowadays, incremental improvements are more of a window dressing. The basic functionality is reasonably robust and standard for the most part.
It takes significant willpower to resist the temptation to buy, especially if we have the means. The thought of missing out is a weakness that advertisers try to exploit.
‘Consumer end’ versus the ‘creative beginning’ of change
At the ‘consumer end’ of change, happiness is linked to new objects and experiences. At the ‘consumer end,’ our awareness is downstream to the mind, which is heavily involved in choices and comparisons. The ‘creative beginning’ is before the mind gets heavily involved in the search for happiness. There is no link between objects and happiness when our awareness is upstream to the mind.
The majority of people are at the ‘consumer end’ of change, where happiness is a learned experience based on memory and comparisons within the world of objects.
Only a few have their awareness at the ‘creative beginning’ of change. It precedes ideas and comparisons. Spontaneous enjoyment comes before the mind. With the mind comes change and conditioned pleasure.
Spontaneous enjoyment comes before the mind. With the mind comes change and conditioned pleasure.
When there is an awareness that somewhere within there is a source of spontaneous happiness, we become less interested in the convoluted journey to happiness through the mind and the objective world. When we find it hard to hold onto this awareness, spending time with little children and observing their joy will help.
A happy person will not be a source of trouble for others. If our happiness does not involve getting something that another has, there is little chance of struggle, strife, and conflicts with others.
We find it challenging to drop the mind due to the fear of losing access to happiness. At this very moment, if we cut out all thoughts, ideas, concepts, and everything else that the mind carries, what we are left with is just an awareness of being.
Everyone can afford the experiment of dropping the mind for only a few moments. Nothing is lost; the mind will return in all its complexity and form just as it was before. However, even a few moments of such purity of awareness can restore a link to spontaneity and joy. It may inspire us to stop actively seeking external change as a requirement for happiness. We will also enjoy the change that naturally happens in the world around us.
A tremendous load lifts when spontaneous enjoyment replaces seeking and desiring a change as a precondition for happiness.
